HW for 3/2

Read pages 1-99 [!!!] of Eliza Griswold's "Landays: Poetry of Afghan Women." The reading, found under Unit 2, includes many pictures and an EXTRA LARGE FONT.

• You need to spend at least two hours reading this and be at minimum 1/2 of the way through by Wednesday's class.

• Record in your course notebook three to four sentences that help you understand why/how a contemporary Pashtun woman uses landays. Make sure to record the page numbers with each quote.

• Define these words used in the article in your course notebook:  
• licentiousness
• poppy
• refugee camp
• burqa
• paradox

Introduction to Landays: A voice for Afghan Women

Landay: two-line "folk poems" sung in Pashto. 

Pashto: one of the official languages spoken in Afghanistan, spoken by Pashtun peoples (Afghanistan and Pakistan). 

Taliban: Islamic fundamentalist political movement. Primary ethnic group of Taliban is Pashtun. Controlled Afghanistan's government from 1996-2001. 



(Photo: from "The New Face of Central Asia" by Ambassador (ret.) Michael W. Cotter)



Main Text

Eliza Griswold's  "Landays: Poetry of Afghan Women"  (PDF version on MyMC/in student e-mail)

"From the Aryan caravans that likely brought these poems to Afghanistan thousands of years ago to ongoing U.S. drone strikes, the subjects of landays are remixed like hip-hop, with old words swapped for newer, more relevant ones. A woman’s sleeve in a centuries-old landay becomes her bra strap today. A colonial British officer becomes a contemporary American soldier. A book becomes a gun. Each biting word change has much to teach about the social satire that ripples under the surface of a woman’s life." (Griswold)

Below is a video supplement directed by Seamus Murphy, the photographer, and produced with Eliza Griswold. The first landay from our handout is performed around the four-minute mark in Pashto, then translated into English.


Pashto Landay - Afghan Women Poets from Franco Pachtoune on Vimeo.

• Let's review the handout, which includes Eliza Griswold's definition of landays and provides examples of "the social satire that ripples under the surface of a woman's life" along with the poems spoken aloud in Pashto in the video. 

• I highly recommend watching this entire video as part of your work for the forthcoming essay.

A Fuller Introduction

General Essay Introduction Structure: 

1. Hook: opening sentence(s) of essay that sets up your topic==>something thematically connected 

2. Put the hook in context for thesis subject matter: transition from topic to specific subject matter

• Provides bridge of needed background information on thesis subject(s)

• Name  subject matter and other basic qualities of them relevant to essay

• Contextualize the subject matter based on essay prompt's purpose & your own essay theme of ideas

• use synonymous language from prompt (instead of "lesson"," use definition techniques to define lesson m as it relates to essay; instead of "the event" use the name and synonyms of the event

3. If you don't use the context to lay out subtopics, then explicitly lay out the body of essay in a succinct way 

• The most effective writing can combine #2's behaviors with #3
• Rather than thinking you need to fully state all of your ideas in full sentences, try to make a 1-2 sentence outline of subtopics. How?  Key words.

4. Finish off with the thesis statement.  

• Your thesis is another place where some of you like to include the subtopics within them. If so, okay. 

• Remember: the key is to know that when you write the subtopics into the thesis itself, it is a rhetorical strategy, an option, and not as a "requirement."

HW for 2/29

Dear Students, especially those absent on Wednesday. I believed the following homework was published, but there was apparently an error on my phone blogger app that did not publish this. As I was preparing for tomorrow's class, I just noticed that this post had not appeared. Here is the homework.

1. Read the Hooks blog post.

2. Re-read chapter 2 of Citizen

3. Work on your essay. Do a reverse outline fully, and start changing your ideas to make them clearer. Start working on a more relevant hook, too.

Introduction Hooks: (another area to consider in global revision)

General Hooks (p.26 in RR) The purpose of a hook is to draw your reader in to what you have to say. You don't want the hook to sound too broad and anonymous. 

***A conscientious, intelligent writer is going to interrogate his or her hook (and his or her whole introduction) after writing a draft and finding out exactly what content shows up in their essay.

• For each of the below: the power and relevance of a hook can come by looking at what you've written. Logically: you understand what shows up in the essay, which lets you know what should show up in the introduction.

You want to one of the general hooks below in a creative, but thesis-connected way: 

1. Relevant quote

• From the subject of your essay (the 'event' and lesson), or
• Something said about your subject that relates to your idea, or
• Something you said (real or imagined) about the person

2. Personal anecdote with relevance to thesis

• Perhaps, you can use one you can come back to?
• Perhaps, something about you that illustrates how much you needed a hero
• Or, something about you that illustrates how you've moved on from the person because of your realization

3. Provocative and relevant question

• Something specific asked about how the specific event changes a person
• Common question about the event...

4. Specific Example that fit your subject (perhaps one you will actually bring back and expand on later in your body)

• Perhaps a fact (#5) about the subject event or lesson learned. 

5. Relevant fact: particularly one that sets the tone and allows you to explore the fact specifically as it relates to your thesis.

• State (and even provide your stance on) statistics about the event that will get attention of readers. 

• State something about the time/setting and how it relates to the event's importance as a subject

Drafting an Introduction

1. Have, at the minimum, your thesis and subtopics drafted and outlined; these ideas are your map directions! 

• Since you've got a whole draft (or should by this point), you've got an introduction to interrogate, to re-envision and better. 

2. Decide which type of hook most interests you. Do some brainstorming that helps you (including, looking on the Internet for a relevant quote or fact to help you out)

3. Once you have the type of hook you want and have some content to work with, start drafting your introduction paragraph (

• Aim for around 6-8 solid sentences, or
• 1/3 to 1/2 a page at most of first page for 450 word essays

Once I find my hook, I can draft my introduction

• When using a quote or a fact, it is good to start your hook off with a phrase that introduces where that quote/fact is coming from:

• (subject of essay/author source) once said, "..."

• According to ________, ...

• Or...try out your own introductory phrase that gives context to the quote/hook!

Revision in Reverse

Reverse Outlines

• Outlining the essay's main points, from thesis to topic sentences, from the current draft written.

• Use a basic outline template to record the sentence in each paragraph that fits the purpose:
• Thesis:
• BP TS 1:
• BP TS 2:
• BP TS 3:
• Conclusion TS:

• Use this reverse outline to check each paragraph's:

• Quality of the point made: language, depth of thought
• Paragraph unity (one paragraph=one idea)
• Consistency of language choices within the paragraph
• nouns to pronouns
• not shifting POV (consistent pronouns)
• Meeting the essay assignment's purpose and other requirements 

***Do these on your own, and/or have a peer do one on your essay and give it to you to see how others are seeing your idea

Brainstarters

A free write is exactly that--you respond to either a question or just the subject matter by writing whatever comes into your head, with no worry about editing the idea to make sense or to be grammatically correct. Write the whole time--don't get distracted by technology or your own disinterest. Write, write, write.

Let's start the day by doing a 10-minute free write on Citizen, responding to this question

What are some lessons Rankine's teaches you about writing, and about events?

HW for 2/24

1. Re-read Citizen. chapter 2.

2. Start editing your Essay 1 commas at home, using today's lessons as a guide.

3. Read Rules for Writers, Chapter 3: “Make Global Revisions…”

Tell Me What You're Thinking

We're going to read Citizen chapter 1 (and maybe 2) together. You are going to practice a really important technique for developing critical thinking: a think aloud. 

A think aloud means how it sounds--actively posing questions and making inferences and observations while reading. This is yet another strategy in active reading.

Strategies for Think Alouds

• Concentrate on a few elements at most 
• Pause at each sentence
• Record ideas while writing

Editing Workshop: Fixing Comma Issues

One of our goals with understanding the simple sentence and dependent clauses and the role of the comma is to understand that they allow for a variety of syntax (sentence structure), which allows for your more complex ideas to be expressed in creative but coherent ways. Rather than getting mastered by grammar rules, try and master the fundamental rules of word structure that is our language (I mean, that is what many of you are already doing with texting language--creating a grammar.)


Independent Clause / the Simple Sentence

• Nouns: person, place, thing
• Verbs: show action
• Subject:  noun or pronoun that performs the action
• Object: noun or pronoun that receives the action

• Includes a subject (noun/pronoun) + verb

•  Examples: I write. She coughs. They run. The lamp shines.

• Often, though, we need to include the object (a noun, too) after the verb=

• Examples: I write poetry. They run laps.

 Before we look at the graphic, let's see how modifiers can create skillfully complex sentences out of basic information:


1. The famous Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov once said, "Style and Structure are the essence of a book; great ideas are hogwash.” 

• Simple sentence:  Vladimir Nabokov...said, "...."

• "The famous Russian novelist" = adjectival phrase with no commas! Why? (Look at #5's explanation on this link for some reasoning, too.)

2.  Since he is known for Lolita, a novel about a creepy old man obsessed with a little girl, a reader may be shocked to find that Nabokov thought structure was more important than the idea itself.

• Simple sentence:   A reader may be shocked to find that Nabokov thought structure was more important than the idea itself.

• "Since he is known for Lolita," = dependent clause that added context to subject

• ", a novel about a creepy old man obsessed with a little girl," = dependent clause that adds meaning to the noun that comes right before it, Lolita. 

• This entire phrase/clause is not necessary for a reader to understand the simple sentence, which is why commas are used to "put up a fence around it."  We can take out the entire clause and the sentence will still be grammatically clear:  

• Since he is known for Lolita, a reader may be shocked to find that Nabokov thought structure was more important than the idea itself.

The Role of the Comma (Rules for Writers, 292-314)

• How do we look at dependent clauses and adjectives and adverbs?

• Modifiers of basic meaning/thought of the sentence

• Different types of context that add to the basic thought/sentence

• What is a comma for? Our two most general ways to look at it:

• Show where dependent clauses add "extra" information/context to the independent clause!

• Separate lists/clusters of adjectives or adverbs. Here is a great link on Buzzfeed that shows just how much a comma is needed for clear meaning when making a list!

• the only time a comma is used to attach two independent clauses (sentences): 
• use a comma, then a conjunction (for | and | nor | but | or | yet | so). This called a coordinating conjunction...

• , + conjunction

• ex.:   We went to the store, but we did not buy anything.

• or, we can sometimes use a comma with a short sentence that is attached to a longer sentence, where the one sentence is operating as a dependent clause/"extra voice"

• ex.:
•  We loved going to the chocolate factory, I can tell you that much. 
• My brother is like the fox, he is the ultimate trickster. (I would still use a semi-colon here just to be grammatically safe.)

Common Words that indicate dependent clauses:

Transition words: also, indeed, either, neither, first, second, next, last, finally, although, however, for example, for instance, since, ...and more!

Prepositions: on, at, above, around, during, of, from, with, ... and more!

-ing verbs: Beginning, Running, Talking, 

infinitives (to + verbs): To begin, To go, To add, To argue,



Let's Go Through Concepts of the Comma As Writers In The Process:


1. I stepped in a pile of horse poop Jill.   (What is "horse poop Jill"? The comma needs to come after the word 'poop' because 'Jill' is a dependent clause; her name gives the reader context to who is being told the statement.)

...and now for a string of complex modification:


2. Since I was seventeen I have lived alone.  (Why no comma? Again, here is a great link for us to review.)

3. Since I was seventeen, I have lived alone and supported myself. (What changes? The simple sentence became more complex, so that dependent clause now modifies to acts.)


4. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone.

5.  Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods.

6. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods and supported myself.

7. Since I was seventeen, I have lived alone in the woods, afraid of the world, and supported myself.

8. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods outside Baltimore and supported myself.

9. Since I as seventeen, I have lived alone in the woods outside Baltimore, Maryland, and supported myself.

10. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods outside Baltimore, Maryland, and supported myself on twigs and berries. 

HW for 2/22

Because of the snow day and general student progress, the Essay 1 first draft is now due at the start of class, printed, Monday.  The final draft due date is also moved back one class period.

• Be on time for class, or your draft will not be accepted/collected. Our class starts at 1pm and we are in P4.  

Organizational Pattern: Defining an idea (such as your "lesson")

***When you are struggling to define a word or an idea beyond a very short phrase, come back to these ideas about definition. 

• Although the ideas below will help you think about other aspects of your essay, I want to focus in on how using the idea of definition to help you define your "major lesson learned" from your chosen event in Essay 1. 

 

Synonym – what are words or things that mean or do the same thing? Phrases, not just single words, can be synonyms.

• When we say that ____=blank, the equivalent basic sentence structure then becomes: “________ is _________.”  However, you can revise such a basic structure to sound more creative.

• Think beyond the standard idea of synonyms to provide qualities that you believe are similar that others may not necessarily have or understand until you provide them! 
• For example: “A smart person learns from mistakes.” 

• Reflect on this: What are things your subject does? Actions that exemplify it?

• Creatively, figuratively: you could use metaphors, similes, and other figures of speech to create synonyms (this also falls under "illustration"):

• For aggressive behavior: Brady's a shark when it comes to selling things. (metaphor)
• For annoying.   Kelly chews his food like a weedwacker. (simile)
• For fear: The drill sergeant's screams ripped my heart into a thousand tiny pieces the first week of bootcamp. (hyperbole and metaphor)

Negation – what is your word or thing not?

•  Defining a word by examples of things or ideas that you do not find are part of your definition can be a good thing, especially if you are negating an idea that others believe.

• For example: “A celebrity is not a hero simply because they are famous. A hero does not have to be famous.”

• Negation is also really good for providing, obviously, nice contrasting images/senses.  

• For example: "A weak man does not cry; he does not care about what happens to others." 

• Such a comment gives some tonal understanding to your audience when used effectively.

• Again, you can also use figures of speech to show the opposite behavior (which can be fun to attempt). 

  
Classify – what is a category that your word can fit into? (Yes, it's both it's own and part of defining)

• Putting your word into a category of things that you find it relates to often helps illustrate your definition to readers.

• For example: “I see two types of evil people in the world: the first is a person who is intentionally cruel, and the second is a person who does not know that their actions are destroying others.”

 Illustration/Example 

• "Story with a point"

• Ask yourself: What's an example that allows us to see the word being put to use in daily life/history/?

• Describe physical action or characteristics

• Detail, detail, detail. Who does what where and when and why and how is it relevant to the meaning of the word/subject matter?

• Language that attempts to show/help reader visualize
• literal picture
• figurative picture

Word Choice & Model Language (two event poems)

This two poems are inspired by wars that the poets have been in -- yes, soldiers can become poets!

A Word Means In Two Basic Ways

1. Denotation: the dictionary meaning a word holds; its surface meaning.

2. Connotation: extra meaning a word carries, or “suggests”; the meaning may be cultural, thematically related to rest of poem’s content. Also, a word or phrase may depend on a reader understanding alternate meanings in dictionary, sound-relations to other words (insure/ensure), context of usage, & other credible connections of the words to the rest of the text.

• Writers use figures of speech to create connotations
• Metaphors
• Similes
• Allusions
• Hyperbole
• Idioms and regionalisms
• & many more

A Writer Must Understand the Difference Between Precision and Accuracy

1. Accuracy: the word choice has correct denotative meaning
2. Precision: the word choice has connotations that meet the action/situation, including tone.

• Examples of precision: The scalpel slices. The ax hacks.
• Examples of imprecision:  The scalpel hacks!

• If a word/phrase doesn’t seem to fit the situation in a published piece, reflect upon why the author may have used an imprecise word/phrase.

"Facing It" by Yusef Komunyakaa gives us a great poem to start our work together in how:


1. I want you to actively read (which entails highlighting and defining words) and actively, critically think moving forward in your life.

2. The importance of language. Crafting (not "writing") an effective sentence requires:

• Solid word choice for clear action
• Appropriate contextual clauses and words
• Active, coherent sentence structure (syntax) that builds upon the base S-V-O

"Four Letter Word" by Hugh Martin is a great example of descriptive, concise language that:

• Connotes speaker's tone
• Provides clear settings with direct, specific word choice
• Uses dialogues that relate to event and setting
• shows how to get "in media res"

HW for 2/17

Despite the cancellation and our inability to discuss the two poems and Rankine's Citizen, chapter one, please bring the following:

1. Bring in a complete, printed rough draft of Essay 1.

2. Also, have an electric file of the essay for in-class work. Either e-mail the essay draft to yourself or a USB with the file (or both).


We will cover the poems and the first chapter for the first half of class, and then I will give you some time to work revising Essay 1 in class based on what we discuss.

HW for 2/15

1a. Post your Essay 1 thesis statement to Blackboard (5 points)

1b. Post your Essay 1 topic sentences to Blackboard before class on Monday. These are worth 15 points.

• Late posts will not be given feedback or given credit (0 points)
• Incomplete assignments will be given partial credit (10 points max) but may receive some feedback.

• Follow directions, including how to submit the work as a Word file (.doc or .docx) that you upload. Again, if you do not, you will not be given feedback or credit (0 points)

2. From Unit 1 on Blackboard:  download and actively read Citizen, Chapter 1.

Essay 1 prompt (also found under Unit 1 on Blackboard)

Essay #1 | What did you learn from that event?

ENGL 002

Worth: 100 points total

Important Dates:

·       Wednesday, Feb. 10^th: post thesis rough draft to Blackboard in class (scheduled)

·       Monday, Feb. 15^th: post topic sentences for essay to Blackboard

·       Wednesday, Feb 17th: complete draft (at least 4 paragraphs)

·       Monday, Feb. 29th: revised and edited Essay 1 draft

                                                                                         

Format Guidelines:

·       Header, @ top left-hand corner: 

Name

EN002

Assignment

Title (Center, Be Creative, Hint at Thesis)

·       MLA format, including: 12 pt. font, either Times New Roman or Cambria; double-spaced

·       Use of rhetorical conventions, including 5-paragraph essay format. Must be at least four paragraphs (intro, two body paragraphs, conclusion)

·       450-500 words  (work towards two complete pages)

·       Title that acts like a second thesis!

Prompt (Purpose)

·   Craft a four- to five-paragraph narrative-reflective essay in which your main focus is to explore one major life lesson an event has taught you (and perhaps still teaches you).

o   Your essay uses narrative, descriptive, and analysis strategies.

o   Your thesis should clarify the lesson learned from the event

o   This essay is about you and what you have learned from the event, so use “I” as your main point of view.

Critical Thinking On the Topic

Sometimes the urge to write comes from a culturally shared event – from the most devastating to the most celebratory of moments. Using the event as subject, especially in poetic form, is not just to restate – or record – what happened, but to uncover from the event some symbolism, some meaning of the human experience.

The writing that comes from an event, then, can be emotionally raw for the writer, and might be in danger of didacticism (trying to teach others what to take from the event). However, the urge to simply teach must be balanced by curiosity – your exploration of what the event means to you.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions the event has left you with. Don’t be afraid to describe images and actions of the event that stick in your head and provide you with meaning.

Also, don’t be afraid to pick a “smaller” event. You can write your essay on an individual event that, in many ways, is a shared event—local festival, a hurricane, a local murder or kidnapping, a gas tanker crash, a birthday party, a funeral, that time on the bus in first grade where you brought a fishing knife that was your dad’s and you had to see the principal when another student tattled. That time in junior high when your guidance counselor told you in his office that you deserved to fail Guidance class because you missed a week of class with bronchitis.

A Few Creative Inspirations & Writer’s Tools:

•       Use our Unit 1 readings to inspire your creative language and to inspire ideas for thinking about events

•       Use Rules for Writers readings to understand how to turn your creative idea into an academic essay. You are reading poems and stories, but you are writing an essay.

•       Draft poem that remembers/honors a major historical event (such as 9/11, Arizona shooting, passing of Universal Healthcare Act, or any other event since you were born!)

•        “Catchy facts,” in general, are helpful. Re-read any newspaper clippings, your own journal, or reflect on your own memory of what you remember. How can such facts be re-tuned into your poem?

•       Leave “emotions” at the door. Replace words that name emotions (sad, happy, angry) with psychical descriptions of actions and objects: How can I get the tone across in here without saying the emotion itself?