Linking Strategy: making cohesive, smooth transitions

You have two basic grammatical choices when going from one sentence to the next sentence:

1. Start the second sentence by repeating the subject of the first sentence, or

2. Start the second sentence by making the object of the first sentence the subject of the second sentence.

Borrowing "Key Words" From Previous Sentences

1. Repeat the subject of one sentence as the subject of the next sentence! However, to show some variety and skill:

• If the subject is the author of a source you are explaining, rotate between their whole name and their last name.  

• For example:  The brother works.... The brother realizes...

• Or, use an adjective or brief phrase that helps develop the subject further.  

• For example: The speaker's devoted brother learns.... The factory-working student realizes...

• Or, create a brief introductory phrase using a synonym (word or phrase) that characterizes your subject and gives good context, followed by the appropriate pronoun:

• For example:  The focused student and factory worker learns.... As someone with a strong work ethic, he realizes...

****When writing in the first person ("I"), as you are doing with Essay 2: introductory phrases are a great type of DEP to use to stay focused on yourself as the subject of a majority of your sentences without being IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (redundant!)

• How else might you "recreate" the I as the subject of a sentence --what other first person pronouns are there? How else my night you look at yourself

2. Turn the object from one sentence into the subject of the very next sentence. 

• This technique is good to use when you want to or need to make any type of transition. End one sentence with the object that you want to be the subject of the very next sentence. 

• Subject 1-V-Object 1.  Subject 2 (same as Object 1)-V-Object 2.  Subject 3 (same as Object 2-V-Object 3.  ...

•  For example: 

• The brother works at a factory during the night and at his schoolwork in the morning. His dedication to both jobs illustrate a very good work ethic. Work ethic forces a person to make sacrifices for a larger purpose. The brother's larger purpose must be to escape being a factory worker all of his life.  

The two general techniques will help you:

• Build coherency by staying on topic

• Build vocabulary as you decide on different synonyms to use, rather than trying to go to completely new places without the language to get there.

• Further pay attention to those basic parts of speech: subject, verb, and object. 

Lastly (deep breath...),  use these techniques in revising & editing all essays:

The above writing techniques can be used at any stage of of the essay writing process. Sure, it helps to practice writing this way from the first draft. However, it's also a good way to go back through and re-write your essays to help clear up coherency issues.

• Look for places where you start a sentence with a pronoun, especially one that may be too broad and lack a reference (It, This, That, Those, These...). Replace such sentences in your essay with one that uses the above techniques.

• Look for places where you have poor transitions ("trans." might be marked on a draft critique).

Editing: Fixing Run-ons

Independent clause (IND)

• Complete thought
• A complete sentence
• All three syntactical slots that we talked about last week are filled:  
• subject | verb | object. 
• S          | V      | O.

• Example:  I write poetry. We went to the store. Bourdain is sarcastic.

What are Run-ons?

1. Comma Splices 
• Marked on essays as CS
• Combine two sentences with only a comma=error.
2. Run-ons
• Fused Sentences
• Marked on essays as RO
• To combine two sentences without end punctuation=error

• To fix, you need to use one of the five methods below either to make the two (or more) sentences coordinate with each other, or to make one be subordinate to the more important idea

• Each method includes at least a punctuation mark that indicates an end to a complete thought:

1. period  (  .   ) or exclamation point or question mark   ( ! or ? )
2. or semi-colon (   ;   )
3. or use the  comma and a conjunction rule (  , + FANBOYS)

• Which method depends on how you want the multiple sentences to coordinate or subordinate. In other words, each method shows a different relationship between the two sentences!  Let's look at the five methods to see what I mean...

Before Fixing, Identify Run-ons

• Mark each of your current end punctuations (period, ?, !) in your draft with a bar:  |  

• Next, read for the mind pause: mark a soft bar where your brain understands a complete thought/idea.

• Thirdly, read out loud for the breath pause: mark a soft bar where you hear an idea sound finished, rhythmically.

The above methods are not enough, so you will have to:

• Diagram these sentences further for their syntactical slot: 

• Underline the subject  (even if it is modified)
• Circle the verb (even if conjugated out of simple tense)
• Put parentheses, ( ), around the object (including all modifiers).

• If the original thought ends earlier than your original end punctuation, and your sentence starts to grammatically start over with a new or repeated subject...

• Mark the end of that thought with a new bar  (  IND. | IND  IND. | ). 

• Then, diagram what comes after the new bar, as well, to make sure it is an IND. 

• You may want to mark the clauses as IND or DEP  above the sentences, too. 

Last Thoughts About Identifying

• You have a run-on if you have more than one IND within your original sentence.

• If you have many DEP clauses within these sentences, your job of finding the end of one IND and the start of a new IND will be harder, but manageable with diagramming practice.

• If your sentence structures include questions or commands, then you have to be flexible with how you diagram the sentence. 

• Questions begin with:    ______
• Commands begin with:  ______  

Five Methods For Fixing Run-ons 

• Make Separate Sentences: An easy fix, find where the two sentences are fused or spliced and place period (or ? or !) between the two clauses. Capitalize the subject of the second sentence.

• Example comma splice: Why should we spend money on expensive space exploration, we have enough underfunded programs here on Earth.   

• Fix: Why should we spend money on expensive space exploration? We have enough underfunded programs here on Earth.   

• Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction: Another easy fix, find where the second sentence starts and add the comma with the right FANBOYS conjunction.  [Of course, if you have a comma splice, you just need to add the right conjunction after the comma.]

• Example comma splice: Some lesson plans include exercises, completing them should not be the focus of all class periods.

• Fix: Some lesson plans include exercises, but completing them should not be the focus of all class periods.

• Use a semi-colon to connect two complete thoughts: Also very easy, the function/purpose of a semi-colon is to join two independent clauses/complete sentences. 

• Example fused sentence: Tragedy depicts the individual confronted with the fact of death comedy depicts the adaptability of human society.

• Fix: Tragedy depicts the individual confronted with the fact of death; comedy depicts the adaptability of human society.

• Use a semi-colon, followed by a conjunctive adverb (a type of transitional word or phrase): More difficult to pull off, though really good to emphasize a relationship between two sentences that are being combined. 

• conjunctive adverb: conjunctive is like conjunction--it means to join, just like a highway junction is the connection of two different routes!

• They are words that imply further action, or a furthering of the idea, such as "thereafter" and "moreover" and "however"

• Example fused sentence:  We ran the race hard we ran to win.

• Fix:   We ran the race hard; moreover, we ran to win. 

• Turn one of the sentences into the subordinate to the other: The most difficult grammatically for one still getting the hang of sentence structure, but can be worth it for sake of showing a clearer relationship between two ideas.

• One of the independent clauses is turned into a dependent clause by adding a subordinating conjunction to the beginning of the original clause. 

• Example: We went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner; we were disappointed.  (How boring is this grammatically correct sentence!?!) 

• Fix: Subordinate one to the other: Although we went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, we were disappointed. (Edits make this one sentence where one idea takes importance because of the subordinate conjunction.)

Editing Fragments

Fragments are dependent clauses that incorrectly mask as sentences. You cannot let a dependent clause be punctuated with a period when it is all by its lonely!



Identifying fragments:  look for dependent clauses that start sentences but lacks a subject or verb modified by that clause.  Read your sentences aloud and ask: Who is doing what in this sentence? 

Here are some common errors we can identify as half thoughts, dependent thoughts:

• Prepositional phrases  (ex.:  “During the war.”)
• –ing verb starts off   (ex.: “Beginning the story over.”)
• infinitive form starts off  (to verb, ex.:  “To command the army.”)
• Relative clauses starts off  (who, that, which, whose, ex.: “Which was awesome.”)
• Appositives on their own. ( ex.:  “The first president.”)
• No verb (action), or no subject doing the action

Methods for fixing:

• First, identify fragments by doing the subject-verb-object test. You may want to read the piece backwards to slow down and catch more possible errors:

• Underline the subject
• Circle the verb
• Box in the object

• If you are missing one of the above, you likely have a fragment; something or someone must be done onto something or someone else! 

1.     Add a subject and verb prior to the existing fragment and lower-case the fragments first word to show proper mechanics.

• Example fragment:  During the war.
• Fix:  We fought during the war

2. Change the period into a comma, then add the subject and verb.

• Example fragment:  During the war.
• Fix grammar: During the war, we fought. 
• Improve idea by adding a modifier:  During the war, we fought for oil deals. 

2.     Or, it is likely that your fragment is just improperly attached to the sentence before or after it. If this is the case, add the phrase to the sentence next to it that you are most likely using the fragment to modify by: 

• If you are attaching the fragment to the beginning of the next sentence, you will need a comma before the subject!

• We had to be back at the office in twenty minutes. To save time. We ordered cold sandwiches.
•  We had to be back at the office in twenty minutes. To save time, we ordered cold sandwiches.

• If you are attaching the fragment to the end of the last sentence because it modifies the object, then erase the period of that sentence and lowercase the first word of the fragment.

Assignments to do going in to Spring Break

From class, make sure to post your two paragraphs by Friday night, 3/11:

•  Provide your introduction and first body paragraph draft, in Word (.doc or .docx).

Essay 2: 

• Your entire draft is due on Monday, 3/21, typed, from the feedback given on your uploading of the above assignment.

HW for 3/21

1. Print and bring in Essay 2 revised from feedback so that I can grade and it get it back to you quickly.

2. Read Rules for Writers chapters on run-ons and fragments.

3. ...

Writing Scholarly College Conclusions

The last paragraph (or sometimes paragraphs, when writing much longer essays) should reflect upon the thesis statement and its subtopics that you have addressed in your essay. 

However, there are other ways to view your conclusions, and viewing a conclusion in these different ways will help guide you in what else you can say beyond being repetitive.

Another way of looking at just conclusions and the above general conclusion definition, according to the University of Iowa's Writing center: "The conclusion is a good place to not only sum up the points made in the paper but to suggest the further implications of your argument.  You do not want to simply reiterate the points you have made in your introduction, thesis, or body paragraphs.  Instead, use the analyses that you have already presented to ask questions, or suggest the possible next logical step in the argument.  You can use the conclusion to draw connections between your chosen text and its genre and historical or cultural contexts.  You want to make sure that the claims you make in the conclusion are not too far-fetched or wildly out of step with the rest of your paper.  The conclusion should be the final step in the progression of your argument."

You likely will not address each question below each time, but here are some general ideas you may explore in your conclusion rather than simply "restating the thesis." (As a writer, you may find some of these thoughtful actions are useful for other parts of your essay...):

• What is important to the general audience/larger world about what you have argued/analyzed/defined. etc.? What knowledge do you provide us, and why is that important? 

• What is the impact of this knowledge I provide ? Who is affected, how? 

• Where does my idea fit in the larger discussion of the subject addressed in the essay? 

• Quickly state comparison or contrast with socially common views, stereotypes, and/or subjects.

• What recommendations can I make, and why, based on my thesis and other points made in the essay? Or, what recs do I have based on the source author's ideas?

• What is another major point or two about the subject that I did not have 'time' to include in this essay? 

• Pose questions that you haven't addressed that are relevant to what you have already written. 

• Pose questions that further help reader understand the subject's context.

• Suggest next possible step in the author's argument.

• Suggest different types of evidence that were not used in author's argument.

• In third person, briefly provide your own thoughts on any examples used from your source author that matter to you. 

• Example: Tamir Rice...

• Have you read other articles, books, etc., on the subject? Draw connections between your essay subject text and well-known texts in the genre or same time period or cultural perspective. 

HW for 3/9

1. Submit pictures of your objects that show discrimination to Blackboard discussion board "Objects of Discrimination." 

2. Bring in a typed, and as a saved a file, an outline for Essay 2. I am giving you time in class on Wednesday to write your first draft of Essay 2 (from the outline, which you will hand in).   

• Make sure to do the free-writes to help get your ideas out
• Then, make sure to use the Crafting Thesis Statements handout from Unit 1 on Blackboard to help you craft your thesis and topic sentences

3. We will do the Midterm after Spring Break. Thanks to the weather and to my own lungs, we are behind. We will get there, I promise.