Editing: Parallel Structure

Parallel Structure (Rules for Writers, 116-119)

As the OWL website clarifies, a parallelism is when you have a list or multiple ideas that are presented in the same pattern, same basic syntactical structure.

Here are a few things to consider about your sentences that have lists (or could use a list) or that present multiple ideas:

• verb forms should match (especially in a list)
• clauses should have matching word patterns
• correlative expressions also need to be edited (check the link)

Furthermore, Towson University up in Baltimore has a great breakdown for how to identify and work on parallel structure. 

How can knowing and working on parallel structure help me out?!?

• A strong parallel made within a thesis statement can outline your entire essay body.

• Besides using the structure for thesis statements, the technique is good to use for:

• Outlining multiple reasons or examples within a body paragraph
• Reiterating in a conclusion the points made in an essay (especially if you didn't use the same structure in the introduction/thesis)

• Example 1: Being an effective boss includes keeping cool and  solving in-house problems when there are issues between employees.

• Example 2: One's spirituality can be defined through religious beliefs, expressed through artistic views, and nurtured through daily interactions.

• Notice how the verbs match in form, and the objects have the same pattern

• Example 3: Grams' favorite arugula farro rissto can be made in three easy stages: dicing up the tomato and herbs, cooking the farro down in broth, and adding arugula and lemon mixture before serving.  (Each of these stages has steps within to cover, and each stage represents a body paragraph.)

Grammar Aside, How Does Effective Parallelism Impact My Writing?

• You can organize your main idea(s) in a sentence list that gives you directions for each paragraph to follow. Organization!!!

• You can order ideas in a list that emphasizes a certain priority to the list. Which idea is most important or strongest?

• As RR shows in Chapter 14, when you order sentences and you order parallel actions/images, that order impacts understanding. 

Editing (Portfolio Essays): Mechanics

Use the list below to edit different issues that arise in your drafts. You want to format and present your Portfolio essays nicely, with none of these easily fixable (VERY EASY) edits. Go through them individually in each of your essays.


1. Don't use "etc." and other Latin abbreviations (343) because they are tonally too casual.

2. Acronyms: only used widely-known acronyms. As RR notes, if you are using a less unfamiliar acronym you need to introduce the whole title first, with the acronym in parentheses.

• Bourdain studied at the Culinary Institute of America (CIA), the premier cooking school in the USA.  [See what I did there?!?}

3. Salutations can be used with proper names, when logical. 

• Unless the character goes by "Miss Sophie," you would call her Sophie--never Ms. Sophie.  However, Mrs. Rasmussen is also Anna Rasmussen--never Missus Rasmussen.

4. With numbers, the general rule is to spell out all numbers one-hundred and below. Along with rule four, you also have rule five dealing with numbers:

5. If a number starts off a sentence, write out that number. Fourteen-hundred and seventy-five is a large number, isn't it?

6. Stay numerically consistent. If you make the minor error of stating 3 out of four dentists agree, you should really be arguing that 3 out of 4 dentists agree. 

7.  As the book notes, numbers used as part of modifying phrases can be in number form, not spelled out.

• He hired an editor to get the 500-pound monkey off his back. The editor, though, was not five-hundred pounds, nor a monkey.

8. To italicize, or not to italicize, that is A question. However, you should never have to make it THE question.

•  Longer, "complete" texts such as books, albums, TV shows, movies, plays, magazines, newspapers, and even websites should be italicized. 

• However, the Bible and the Constitution are not italicized (348). Legal document titles are never italicized. 

9. Also, do not italicize (or bold, or underline) the title of your own essay. Use capitalization rules, instead.

10. Go beyond spellcheck. Use spellcheck, but don't rely on it. Spellcheck doesn't catch homonyms (there, their, there're | it it's | to two too | here hear!)

11.  Plurals versus (not verses) Possessives.  The apostrophe (') is used for ownership. You cannot tack on an -s or -es to a word to make that word own the next word. 

• What do I do with Jerry's throw [rug]? Do all Jerrys throw left-handed?

12. Capitalize proper nouns, like character names. Real people names. Business names. Titles of sources.

• There is a difference between giving Johnny cash and giving Johnny Cash away.

13. Commonly misspelled words: look for them versus assuming you have tight verses. Check 356-57 in RR, but also go to a dictionary for words you are unsure of.

14. Hyphens are not dashes. Hyphens are used with compound words, between prefixes and suffixes (360). 

15. Hyphens are also important to use when you are formatting your essay. If there is too much white space at the end of a line and you have long word, try to split that word up at a natural syllabic break to avoid the empty, or too short, line.

Editing: Don't Be So Shifty

1. When do you use "you" appropriately?

2. How do you keep time?

3.  Stay indicative in mood.  (Same subject-verb structure from sentence to sentence)

4. Stay active in tense (s-v-o structure) in each sentence.

5. Stay within the same syntax when quoting or questioning within a combined/linked sentences.

• one editing consideration: read the shared part of a sentence with the multiple actions

Editing: Pronoun Agreement

PRO AGR=when the pronoun does not agree in number with the noun or pronoun, called the antecedent, it references.

• Circle all pronouns
• Draw an arrow back to the word it is replacing

1. Indefinite pronouns (each, nobody, everybody, something, nothing) are singular (208).

2. Generic nouns (209) are singular.

3. Collective nouns are singular unless the action and result (verb and object) clearly shows plural.

4. Compounds=plural

5. The either/or | neither/nor rule= agree with the antecedent closest (the second one/one on right).

HW for 4/18 & Editing: S/V AGR Editing: S/V AGR

1. Read both Rules for Writes  chapter 21 (subject-verb agreement) and the post below that outlines that grammar lesson.

2. Read through your Essays 1, 2, 3 and Midterm for S/V AGR errors. We will do this in class on Monday, too, but we would also like to introduce another editing lesson.

3.  Order your essays from strongest essay (represents the best of your writing) and weakest (essay needs the most work), and be ready to discuss why you believe what you do. You need to start focusing your attention over the next five days to the 2-3 essays that you feel will best represent you as a writer.

• Which ones will show your best depth of writing, best skills with structure/organization, best vocabulary, and widest range of topics and other skills? 

4. ***Again, bring in new, clean drafts of the newest version of each essay. We are very close to Portfolios, so we have to keep having new drafts.

Editing: S/V AGR

One of the bigger grammatical issues to edit out draft to draft is subject-verb agreement (S/V AGR), which means that the subject and its verb have to match in number (singular or plural) and person (first, second, third).

Identify, then Fix

1. Underline the subject


• If the subject is a noun phrase, reduce the subject down to its proper pronoun so that you can better match it with the verb.


• The amazingly bright Johnny = He
• Johnny and Tom=They
• The sisters and I=We
• My favorite lamp=It


2. Circle the verb(s) that the subject 'acts on'


3. Ignore every other word in sentence to test for agreement! 

• Use chart on 198 for a visual aid/reminder (all regular, or typical, verbs will follow the top chart)

• Pay attention to sentences with multiple subjects 


• 'and'= plural
• 'nor' or "'or'=verb must agree with the subject closest it (200)
• Collective nouns (where a group of people is referred to as one unit) such as jury, committee, crowd, and class are to be singular forms unless the idea in the sentence shows the individuals acting separately (see 201-202)
• indefinite pronouns are treated as singular (200)
• Who, which and that=agree with the antecedent 
• antecedent sounds like 'ancestor,' and it means: the noun or pronoun that came before which the current one is supposed to refer to...
• A title of a work or company needs a singular verb, even if it sounds plural!  (The Chicago Bears is my favorite team.)
• Treat gerund phrases (when -ing verbs are used at start) as singular nouns (Beginning with today...)
• ...and other special cases

Editing  Strategies for Your Essays

• Read your paragraphs backwards or with a sheet that covers the other sentences to slow you down

• Do your editing on a printed copy first, so that you can better diagram

• Diagram each sentence for its subject (underline) and verb (circle). 

• Convert the subject to its pronoun form (
• Or, cross out (on the page or in your head) all the words but the basic subject 

• Read for agreement between pronoun and verb to test the verb's correctness

• Make sure to then write the corrections above where you find a lack of agreement. Consult your Rules for Writers for extra help where unsure. 

• If editing on the computer:

• Re-type your essay from a blank document
• REALLY DO THIS WITH at least one Major Error editing session, for the action is another way to slow down and reflect on what you wrote:

• Run-ons (both fused and comma splice) editing session
• Fragment editing session
• Comma editing session
• Verb Tense shift editing session (chapter 13)

Editing: Fixing Run-ons

Independent clause (IND)

• Complete thought
• A complete sentence
• All three syntactical slots that we talked about last week are filled:  
• subject | verb | object. 
• S          | V      | O.

• Example:  I write poetry. We went to the store. Bourdain is sarcastic.

What are Run-ons?

1. Comma Splices 
• Marked on essays as CS
• Combine two sentences with only a comma=error.
2. Run-ons
• Fused Sentences
• Marked on essays as RO
• To combine two sentences without end punctuation=error

• To fix, you need to use one of the five methods below either to make the two (or more) sentences coordinate with each other, or to make one be subordinate to the more important idea

• Each method includes at least a punctuation mark that indicates an end to a complete thought:

1. period  (  .   ) or exclamation point or question mark   ( ! or ? )
2. or semi-colon (   ;   )
3. or use the  comma and a conjunction rule (  , + FANBOYS)

• Which method depends on how you want the multiple sentences to coordinate or subordinate. In other words, each method shows a different relationship between the two sentences!  Let's look at the five methods to see what I mean...

Before Fixing, Identify Run-ons

• Mark each of your current end punctuations (period, ?, !) in your draft with a bar:  |  

• Next, read for the mind pause: mark a soft bar where your brain understands a complete thought/idea.

• Thirdly, read out loud for the breath pause: mark a soft bar where you hear an idea sound finished, rhythmically.

The above methods are not enough, so you will have to:

• Diagram these sentences further for their syntactical slot: 

• Underline the subject  (even if it is modified)
• Circle the verb (even if conjugated out of simple tense)
• Put parentheses, ( ), around the object (including all modifiers).

• If the original thought ends earlier than your original end punctuation, and your sentence starts to grammatically start over with a new or repeated subject...

• Mark the end of that thought with a new bar  (  IND. | IND  IND. | ). 

• Then, diagram what comes after the new bar, as well, to make sure it is an IND. 

• You may want to mark the clauses as IND or DEP  above the sentences, too. 

Last Thoughts About Identifying

• You have a run-on if you have more than one IND within your original sentence.

• If you have many DEP clauses within these sentences, your job of finding the end of one IND and the start of a new IND will be harder, but manageable with diagramming practice.

• If your sentence structures include questions or commands, then you have to be flexible with how you diagram the sentence. 

• Questions begin with:    ______
• Commands begin with:  ______  

Five Methods For Fixing Run-ons 

• Make Separate Sentences: An easy fix, find where the two sentences are fused or spliced and place period (or ? or !) between the two clauses. Capitalize the subject of the second sentence.

• Example comma splice: Why should we spend money on expensive space exploration, we have enough underfunded programs here on Earth.   

• Fix: Why should we spend money on expensive space exploration? We have enough underfunded programs here on Earth.   

• Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction: Another easy fix, find where the second sentence starts and add the comma with the right FANBOYS conjunction.  [Of course, if you have a comma splice, you just need to add the right conjunction after the comma.]

• Example comma splice: Some lesson plans include exercises, completing them should not be the focus of all class periods.

• Fix: Some lesson plans include exercises, but completing them should not be the focus of all class periods.

• Use a semi-colon to connect two complete thoughts: Also very easy, the function/purpose of a semi-colon is to join two independent clauses/complete sentences. 

• Example fused sentence: Tragedy depicts the individual confronted with the fact of death comedy depicts the adaptability of human society.

• Fix: Tragedy depicts the individual confronted with the fact of death; comedy depicts the adaptability of human society.

• Use a semi-colon, followed by a conjunctive adverb (a type of transitional word or phrase): More difficult to pull off, though really good to emphasize a relationship between two sentences that are being combined. 

• conjunctive adverb: conjunctive is like conjunction--it means to join, just like a highway junction is the connection of two different routes!

• They are words that imply further action, or a furthering of the idea, such as "thereafter" and "moreover" and "however"

• Example fused sentence:  We ran the race hard we ran to win.

• Fix:   We ran the race hard; moreover, we ran to win. 

• Turn one of the sentences into the subordinate to the other: The most difficult grammatically for one still getting the hang of sentence structure, but can be worth it for sake of showing a clearer relationship between two ideas.

• One of the independent clauses is turned into a dependent clause by adding a subordinating conjunction to the beginning of the original clause. 

• Example: We went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner; we were disappointed.  (How boring is this grammatically correct sentence!?!) 

• Fix: Subordinate one to the other: Although we went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, we were disappointed. (Edits make this one sentence where one idea takes importance because of the subordinate conjunction.)

Editing Fragments

Fragments are dependent clauses that incorrectly mask as sentences. You cannot let a dependent clause be punctuated with a period when it is all by its lonely!



Identifying fragments:  look for dependent clauses that start sentences but lacks a subject or verb modified by that clause.  Read your sentences aloud and ask: Who is doing what in this sentence? 

Here are some common errors we can identify as half thoughts, dependent thoughts:

• Prepositional phrases  (ex.:  “During the war.”)
• –ing verb starts off   (ex.: “Beginning the story over.”)
• infinitive form starts off  (to verb, ex.:  “To command the army.”)
• Relative clauses starts off  (who, that, which, whose, ex.: “Which was awesome.”)
• Appositives on their own. ( ex.:  “The first president.”)
• No verb (action), or no subject doing the action

Methods for fixing:

• First, identify fragments by doing the subject-verb-object test. You may want to read the piece backwards to slow down and catch more possible errors:

• Underline the subject
• Circle the verb
• Box in the object

• If you are missing one of the above, you likely have a fragment; something or someone must be done onto something or someone else! 

1.     Add a subject and verb prior to the existing fragment and lower-case the fragments first word to show proper mechanics.

• Example fragment:  During the war.
• Fix:  We fought during the war

2. Change the period into a comma, then add the subject and verb.

• Example fragment:  During the war.
• Fix grammar: During the war, we fought. 
• Improve idea by adding a modifier:  During the war, we fought for oil deals. 

2.     Or, it is likely that your fragment is just improperly attached to the sentence before or after it. If this is the case, add the phrase to the sentence next to it that you are most likely using the fragment to modify by: 

• If you are attaching the fragment to the beginning of the next sentence, you will need a comma before the subject!

• We had to be back at the office in twenty minutes. To save time. We ordered cold sandwiches.
•  We had to be back at the office in twenty minutes. To save time, we ordered cold sandwiches.

• If you are attaching the fragment to the end of the last sentence because it modifies the object, then erase the period of that sentence and lowercase the first word of the fragment.

Editing Workshop: Fixing Comma Issues

One of our goals with understanding the simple sentence and dependent clauses and the role of the comma is to understand that they allow for a variety of syntax (sentence structure), which allows for your more complex ideas to be expressed in creative but coherent ways. Rather than getting mastered by grammar rules, try and master the fundamental rules of word structure that is our language (I mean, that is what many of you are already doing with texting language--creating a grammar.)


Independent Clause / the Simple Sentence

• Nouns: person, place, thing
• Verbs: show action
• Subject:  noun or pronoun that performs the action
• Object: noun or pronoun that receives the action

• Includes a subject (noun/pronoun) + verb

•  Examples: I write. She coughs. They run. The lamp shines.

• Often, though, we need to include the object (a noun, too) after the verb=

• Examples: I write poetry. They run laps.

 Before we look at the graphic, let's see how modifiers can create skillfully complex sentences out of basic information:


1. The famous Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov once said, "Style and Structure are the essence of a book; great ideas are hogwash.” 

• Simple sentence:  Vladimir Nabokov...said, "...."

• "The famous Russian novelist" = adjectival phrase with no commas! Why? (Look at #5's explanation on this link for some reasoning, too.)

2.  Since he is known for Lolita, a novel about a creepy old man obsessed with a little girl, a reader may be shocked to find that Nabokov thought structure was more important than the idea itself.

• Simple sentence:   A reader may be shocked to find that Nabokov thought structure was more important than the idea itself.

• "Since he is known for Lolita," = dependent clause that added context to subject

• ", a novel about a creepy old man obsessed with a little girl," = dependent clause that adds meaning to the noun that comes right before it, Lolita. 

• This entire phrase/clause is not necessary for a reader to understand the simple sentence, which is why commas are used to "put up a fence around it."  We can take out the entire clause and the sentence will still be grammatically clear:  

• Since he is known for Lolita, a reader may be shocked to find that Nabokov thought structure was more important than the idea itself.

The Role of the Comma (Rules for Writers, 292-314)

• How do we look at dependent clauses and adjectives and adverbs?

• Modifiers of basic meaning/thought of the sentence

• Different types of context that add to the basic thought/sentence

• What is a comma for? Our two most general ways to look at it:

• Show where dependent clauses add "extra" information/context to the independent clause!

• Separate lists/clusters of adjectives or adverbs. Here is a great link on Buzzfeed that shows just how much a comma is needed for clear meaning when making a list!

• the only time a comma is used to attach two independent clauses (sentences): 
• use a comma, then a conjunction (for | and | nor | but | or | yet | so). This called a coordinating conjunction...

• , + conjunction

• ex.:   We went to the store, but we did not buy anything.

• or, we can sometimes use a comma with a short sentence that is attached to a longer sentence, where the one sentence is operating as a dependent clause/"extra voice"

• ex.:
•  We loved going to the chocolate factory, I can tell you that much. 
• My brother is like the fox, he is the ultimate trickster. (I would still use a semi-colon here just to be grammatically safe.)

Common Words that indicate dependent clauses:

Transition words: also, indeed, either, neither, first, second, next, last, finally, although, however, for example, for instance, since, ...and more!

Prepositions: on, at, above, around, during, of, from, with, ... and more!

-ing verbs: Beginning, Running, Talking, 

infinitives (to + verbs): To begin, To go, To add, To argue,



Let's Go Through Concepts of the Comma As Writers In The Process:


1. I stepped in a pile of horse poop Jill.   (What is "horse poop Jill"? The comma needs to come after the word 'poop' because 'Jill' is a dependent clause; her name gives the reader context to who is being told the statement.)

...and now for a string of complex modification:


2. Since I was seventeen I have lived alone.  (Why no comma? Again, here is a great link for us to review.)

3. Since I was seventeen, I have lived alone and supported myself. (What changes? The simple sentence became more complex, so that dependent clause now modifies to acts.)


4. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone.

5.  Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods.

6. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods and supported myself.

7. Since I was seventeen, I have lived alone in the woods, afraid of the world, and supported myself.

8. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods outside Baltimore and supported myself.

9. Since I as seventeen, I have lived alone in the woods outside Baltimore, Maryland, and supported myself.

10. Since I was seventeen, Chris, I have lived alone in the woods outside Baltimore, Maryland, and supported myself on twigs and berries.